Growing up

or at least trying to

June 28th 2010

Everyday of my life I feel that I'm becoming more and more okay with ending up alone. Realization is coming into play everyday of my life and I can't stop making mistakes or doing things that I will regret greatly in the future. I don't know what it is that I want or why I'm writing but I want to be happy and to have someone to share happiness with. I hope that someday I can have someone that cares about me greatly, somebody that is content with me and me with them, somebody who I'd do almost anything for and anything with, somebody to adventure, explore, and see the world with. Stuck with grief and despair and regret amongst other depressing feelings. I think living in the moment only works out for so long before everything falls and cycles begin. Am I capable of creating what I want? I don't know and for the moment I suppose I'm still careless. I hope to someday fix some of the mistakes and things that I've brought upon myself, but at the moment it seems impossible.

I have so many thoughts in my head and I don't know what I'm doing.